It's Time to Get Off The Struggle Bus {4.08.26}

Struggle is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It's human, it's biological, and yes — even I get caught in it sometimes too. 

In this episode, I get honest about the moment I realized I'd been making choices that were keeping me in a state of "almost there," and what it took to decide it was finally time to get off the struggle bus.

• The primal brain is wired to keep you stuck — not to be difficult, but to keep you safe and comfortable
• Staying stuck in the struggle is a choice, even when it doesn't feel like one
• Good planning without follow-through is still stagnation — and recognizing that gap is part of the work
• The moment of clarity doesn't arrive with all the answers. It arrives with a decision: is the discomfort of staying stuck now greater than the discomfort of moving forward?
• You don't need to know exactly what's next to start making different choices
• Releasing what's comfortable and known is uncomfortable — and also kind of fun

The struggle bus does not have a lock on the door. You can get off it any time you decide to.

Thank you for listening!


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Transcript

0:44

Hello there and welcome back to the Goal Getter Guide podcast. I am your hosting guide, Jen Laine, and I have something to admit, and that is I have been stuck in the struggle. Yes, the very same struggle that I coach my clients. Through. I happen to find myself in the struggle as well, and I'm sharing this story because I want you to see how universal struggle is. It is human and biological to stay stuck in struggle because of our primal brain and it not wanting us to grow. However, the choice to stay in the struggle. Is just that it is a choice. And I realized that I was stuck in struggle, and I realized this while I was taking a shower this past February because I don't know about you, but all of the best ideas and insights happen in the shower, right? And I was thinking over my business and things were good. But they were not great and I wanted them to be great. So why weren't they great? I was doing some excellent planning, but I was not seeing those plans come to life. Does this sound familiar to you? I had adapted to an almost there mindset. I was almost ready to launch. I was almost done with a new offer. I was almost ready to sell. And while all of this felt somewhat frustrating at the time to always be almost there at the time, to stay in a constant state of almost was much more comfortable than actually taking action struggle. Had become my comfort cave there. I said it, and I know that I'm not alone in this because I was doing the exact same thing that I help almost every single one of my clients avoid staying stuck in the struggle. I have noticed a common thread in the world of solo entrepreneurship. Many of us choose to stay in a state of struggle, and I use the word choose very intentionally. We don't do this consciously or because we want to suffer because that would be crazy, right? We do so because struggle is familiar to us, and if there's one thing our primal brain likes, it is familiarity. Our primal brain, that part of our brain that's wired to keep us safe. It thrives on keeping everything exactly the same, anything unfamiliar basically freaks it out and it knows exactly what to expect from struggle. So there's this kind of strange comfort in that struggle feels both yucky and oddly Okay. At the same time, because at least. When you're in the struggle, you know the outcome. You know what it feels like. There are no surprises. There are no risks. There's no proof that you either can or can't do. The thing there is just struggle, and this keeps our primal brain happy. But staying in the struggle keeps us playing small and playing small feeds. Two fears at once, the fear of failure and our fear of success if you never fully commit. You never fully fail, and if you never fully succeed, you never have to deal with what that success might actually ask of you. So struggle becomes a sort of holding pattern, a story that your mind tells you and excuse that feels more like a reason. And before you know it, you're hiding in the struggle bus riding it to a destination with no location. So how do you know if you're stuck in the struggle? First, you treat preparation like it's the same as progress. Sorry to say my friends, but reading books about launching your business is not launching your business. Mapping out a second version of your offer before you've sold the first one is not momentum building. It's all avoidance, dressed up in productivity, clothing, and when you're always preparing. But never doing. You feel busy without ever moving forward, and the results just can't show up. Number two, you're waiting for certainty that just isn't coming. Try as hard as you might, but your plan is never going to be perfect. The timing will never be ideal. The fear of getting it wrong is never going to disappear before you start. Waiting until you feel ready is one of the most common ways small business owners stay stuck because, ready? My friends, it's not a feeling, it's a decision. Number three, you're choosing comfort over the version of yourself that you actually want to be. And this one is kind of a mindblower. It's a very tough one to admit. There is a version of you that plays it safe, stays predictable, doesn't rock the boat even internally. And then there's a version of you that knows without any doubt, any doubt that you are capable of more the gap between these two versions. It is not a skills gap. It's not an experience gap. It is a willingness to try gap and that my friends, you have complete control over. And fourth, you may be calling hesitation, being responsible responsibility. Is important, don't get me wrong, but there is a difference between being responsible and using responsibility as a reason to never commit. Sure. Us business owners, we are a very responsible bunch, but we cannot let responsibility get in the way of our growth. Never taking risks, not taking action before you have a fail proof plan or consistently second guessing every decision. It is not being responsible. It's stalling and choosing struggle. Over progress. Now, there's a moment that a lot of my clients describe that sounds something like this. I just couldn't keep doing it the same way anymore. This is not something that happens dramatically or a rock bottom drop. It's just a quiet, clear knowing of what's been happening because of the choices they've made to play it safe and stay in the struggle. They get to a point when waiting has stopped serving them. The gap between the life they were maintaining and the life they actually wanted. Had grown much too wide for them to ignore any longer, and that was the realization I had in the shower This past February. I realized that the choices I made to stay in a state of almost there were no longer serving me, and it was time to make different choices. I had to release what was comfortable and known for the opportunity to grow. Both personally and professionally, and I have to admit discovering what this looks like, it actually has been kind of fun. So my friends, you do not need all the answers to start making different decisions. That moment of realization that you've been stuck in the struggle, like that one I had in the shower is not going to arrive with all the answers about what you need to do next, and that is not the point. That moment is about deciding that the discomfort of staying stuck is now greater than the discomfort of moving forward. I want you to remember the struggle bus does not have a lock on the door. You can get off it any time you decide to.